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The Cuil Theory in Terms of Shipping and Multishipping

let’s use the cuil as a unit of multishipping measurement

 1 cuil is 1 abstraction from regular shipping

 Example = you ask me for a USUK fic.

 1 cuil: you ask me for a USUK fic. I give you a FRUK fic.

 2 cuils: you ask me for a USUK fic. it turns out that USUK doesn’t really exist. An FF.net account containing numerous USUK fics has disappeared, and in its place a multi-chaptered FACE family fic remains.

 3 cuils: you awake as America. You start to scream only to have pairing names fly from your mouth. everything is dodged and burned.

 4 cuils: why are we shipping GerEng? A shipper cries softly as they write some EngSey. Qichi stares at you as everyone around you begins to make out. You look down to see USUK, only to find that it’s their 2p selves instead.

 5 cuils: You ask for a USUK fic. I give you a USUK fic. You click the fic link and scroll down to begin reading. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the internet, a RoChu shipper falls for CanAme. You scroll uneasily and look at the fic on your screen. I give you a USUK fic. You stare and then look at the fic on your screen. You cannot read. There are shippers on dA. Your cursor shifts uneasily on the screen. I give you a USUK fic. You look at my skype window and I am pleading with you.  The shippers are crying now. You scroll down, tears streaming down your face as you begin to read. I give you a USUK fic. You are slumped against your desk. You plead with me to go to dA. I only hear shippers’ laughter. I give you a USUK fic. You’re screaming as you scroll down the page. I am your OTP. You cannot see anything. You read the first line of the fic. The page begins to zoom in on you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a USUK fic. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a USUK fic.

 6 cuils: You ask me for a USUK fic. My attempt to reciprocate is cut brutally short when my interest in USUK is diverted to PruCan. Across a variety of hidden dimensions you are dismayed. Uro-boros  writes a short RUSCANAME fic, but deletes it before I click the link. Instead I read GiriPan. You approve. A crack echoes through the internet in defiance of conventional shipping as the USUK/FRUK shipping war shifts from randomness to a perfect example of a civilized disagreement. Shippers everywhere stop what they’re doing and read along in perfect harmony with the debating shippers. Rarepairs become popular as multishipping engulfs the earth. You hesitate momentarily before allowing yourself to assume the locus of all shipping. OTPs crumble as you peruse the ships contained within the multiverse. A small fight over a rarepair ceases to exist.  You stumble under the feels of multishipping. Your mouth opens to cry out, and collapses around your body before blinking out of the spatial plane. You exist only within the 4th dimension. The fountainhead of all shipping rolls along the ground and collides with a small child. My ships feel sideways as spacetime is reestablished, you blink back into the corporeal world disoriented, only for me to hand you a USUK fic as my body collapses under the strain of reconstitution. Shipping has reasserted itself. A particular child ships everything for the rest of their natural life. You learn about a new ship in a coincidental meeting with someone months later, and you end up shipping a rarepair that has no fighting over it. You approve. Your approval sends ripples through the inter-dimensional void between shipping and multishipping. A young shipper begins to cry as they click on a fic that contains their former OTP.

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